Monday, January 13, 2014

As Close to a Rant As I Have Ever Posted And Hopefully Ever Will

I generally maintain my blog on an "up" note, because that's also how I choose to approach my life. But, that being said, there are certain types of people that really crawl under my skin a little bit....not much, but enough that I would remark on it....and that is people who feel that they are in a position to pass judgements on other people. 

I see it all the time, and maybe more lately than ever. But to illustrate what I'm talking about on....neutral ground, I'll refer back to a column in the New York Post back when Heath Ledger died, written by some so-called journalist (whom I won't bother naming) who clearly has no moral high ground, nor any insightful knowledge into the guy's life, to judge or even comment on it. What happened to Ledger & the aftermath aren't even any of her damn business....although keeping New Yorkers, etc, buying, reading, and seeing ads in this toilet-paper tabloid IS her business. And ultimately, that's what's going on here.

The poor guy was DEAD, and his body wasn't even COLD yet, and she's sitting in judgement of him, like she does to so many people every day. I remember reading that, and thinking that this sort of "death by misadventure" could have happened to people I've known and loved....and if she would have written a column about any of them, I would have HIT the fucking ROOF! I bet this columnist probably doesn't have any friends at all, much less friends who might have been in a position like that. So much for empathy. However, deep down inside, this person must feel that she's far beneath this talented actor who fell victim to a substance addiction, and likely, depression...and perhaps has her own skeletons in the closet that nobody would even venture to care maybe it makes sense.

And speaking of friends....I've never met any of the ones she refers to, but...I suspect that they were probably devastated at what happened to him. Do they need this thrown in their face, especially so soon after the fatal incident? How about his wife and child, whom she so classily refers to in her column as well? Do THEY need to see this crap? I don't think so. The sort if feigned outrage is so transparent, isn't it? It simply doesn't add up.

I'm bringing this up to illustrate a point. With Social Media seemingly being a permanent fixture of many of our lives, some people just needs to hear a piece of gossip, make a judgement on it, and then broadcast it as fact (and maybe even tweak it...just a little - they have to get their own editorial in there, you know) to whomever will listen, so to speak. And there's always an agenda to it, just as there is with the aforementioned tabloid trash-peddlers as well as religious crank-jobs. And oftentimes, TOO often, people will believe anything they read. It's laughable, more often than not, and usually reflects badly on whomever is perpetuating it, but....that doesn't make it any more pleasant, does it? In fact, it's pathetic and fucking embarrassing to even know about.

I personally choose not to pay much attention to it.  Most of the shit-talkers and gossip-mongers that hang out in the rural outSKIRTS (no pun intended) of my (usually-solid) circles are filtered out of my feeds, so....I can just choose to avoid that noise, more often than not. I do hear about it from other people, but....I don't usually let it get to me. I mean....who the hell cares?!

But it does beg the question...why the relentless insistence on constant negativity?  Is it jealousy? Envy? Bitterness? Stupidity? Lack of talent? Lack of direction? Lack of focus? Lack of progress? Mommy/Daddy issues? Feelings of inadequacy, perhaps? All of the above? I don't know, because....well, I am not that way, so...I cannot relate.

Maybe it's because I was so relentlessly bullied at school when I was growing up, by a lot of hypocritical people who came from families with "good, Christian" values. You see a lot of that from religious extremists of every denomination, and they often sound like the columnist I referred to above, after a fashion. As Neil Young once sang, "Don't forget what your good book said." And, within the context of what I'm talking about here, the good book said, "Judge not, lest ye be judged."  I remember that from Catholic school, and I'm not even religious!

Sure, I'm no saint, and I'm no prince (and I'm certainly no PRINCE!) but....I do try to improve myself. And, more often than not, I err on the side of dwelling on & accentuating the positive, if I can help it. Sure, I've made lots of mistakes, many of which aren't worthy of repeating, but....I'll say this: those of us with the most checkered pasts often make the best friends and confidantes....because the most self-aware and intelligent of us know that WE DON'T HAVE ANY RIGHT TO JUDGE. And that fact, coupled with the fact that those of us in that position have often "been there", will often inspire trust and confidence from our friends. Anyone who's watched Sex & the City might understand the concept. (Yes...I like that show & always did! Judge away!) And if there's anything I've ever wanted to be for my friends, it's been to be one of their best. I am many things, and many of them may leave something to be desired, but jaded and judgmental, I am not, and refuse to be.

I learned a long time ago that being bitter or indignant towards the successes and fortunate events of other people only winds up hurting yourself. And, the same goes for wishing for or gaining satisfaction from the missteps or unfortunate events of others. And, to that point, dwelling on the weaknesses or shortcomings that you perceive (whether reasonably & accurately or not) in others, rather than in yourself, really isn't fair...even to one's self....because we all have our own problems. And, to me, these are merely very convenient ways of blaming everyone but one's self for one's own troubles. 

Does that mean that we have to LIKE EVERYONE?! NO!!! But we also don't have to constantly talk shit on them either.  And if I've lost a close friend or two in the past few years, you can bet your sweet ass that this sort of thing had a LOT to do with it, at least from my end of the spectrum...and a colorful one it is! 

There just comes a time when there's no getting through to some people, but I guess that's a blessing in disguise. Being free of dealing with the burden of trying to be around someone like that is like the weight of the planet Saturn off your well as the fucking rings! And it also frees up your time to hang out with other people who can take life more in stride....which can be very enlightening and inspiring, indeed. There's always a light if you look for it, but you often have to be in the darkness to see it, I guess.

That's about all I have to say about it. I'm now going to go back to my regularly scheduled transformation of chicken shit into chicken salad!!!


  1. Well said, Marty! I'm the one my friends confide in because they know that my mantra is "I will never judge because chances are, I've been there, done that. Twice." And it's true, whether one is religious or not, the only judgement we should be concerned with is the one we meet the day we die, if more people kept that in mind, the world might be a very different place.

    1. Thank you, Dana! Great minds, as they say!