SONGS: #7 - Midnight Crisis - "Make It Alright"

"It's dark every night..."

It's not exactly profound is it? I mean - no shit, Sherlock! But, I never heard anyone else say it, much less sing it, so....I pretty much wrote a song around it.

I'm going to try to keep this brief.

This is basically a dramatic love song about, as I sing, "Tempting fate with a good time," & then shit gets out of hand with the person you're having the good time with. 

Shit happens.  

You got into an argument - Lord knows (or, at this point, cares) why. You wake up the next day hung over, alone, and feeling like the horse's ass you rode in on.  And, of course, you're looking for the very person you were in a bitch match with some hours before to make you feel safe and secure, because she (or he) is, "the only thing that makes it alright."

That's rich, isn't it?

I intertwined some lyrics about my semi-religious upbringing in there ("Orphan bastard child of God, Born of a rumor and a fraud"). I think I did that to sort of deepen the song with references to being indoctrinated with some idea of "God" & morality, & coming to the realization that these things don't necessarily make anyone righteous. In fact, they can have the opposite effect, really. I think that's why I tied up that first verse with my favorite line in the song: "The one who doesn't judge deserves all the love." Tell THAT to a religious nut!

What does that have to do with the song? Well, it beats the hell out of me, but...maybe, since it's a love song, I sort-of threw the love of family into the mix, which sort of intertwines with the religious themes, just like the love of that special one who "makes it alright" gets intertwined with too much booze! My life-long morbid fear of & fascination with death probably makes a cameo appearance as well. (I'm not gonna talk about that - but those of you who know me know all too well what I mean). 

We all come from somewhere, and that leads us to where we are....

Anyway, enough of that shit.

I have a couple of random notes about the second verse that are kind-of funny. First, I sing "Gone, but not forgiven", because I saw that on a list of strange gravestone epitaphs in an almanac when I was a little kid, and it popped into my head when Lase and I were writing the song. Which leads me to the second line, "Alternative to living", which I think I once saw in a magazine ad for time shares or some shit - "THE PERFECT ALTERNATIVE TO LIVING!" I thought that was hilarious. (It's too bad that I can't find it).

As for writing the song, like most of them, it came quickly. I had that little lyric idea, and the beat with the sort-of "half-note-triplet" feel, & Lase & I took it from there. Lase really brought it to another level, yet again, when he pulled that bridge part out of his ass. I love that part.

Recording the vocals for this song (much like "Sister Vicodin") was kind of a BITCH. It's such a personal song, and one that requires a plaintive vocal, which can't be forced, or it's going to sound hokey as fuck. So, I did my best (which, admittedly, was a long shot at best) to evoke some of my favorite singers, like Mark Lanegan, & Lou Reed, & Nick Cave, to get the job done. while still keeping it my own enough to not sound like some cheap imitator. I think it came out the way I envisioned it. Lase's guitar textures are fantastic (which is the reason why I wanted to record it in the first place), and Mike Maenza, once again, really stepped up with fantastic drumming on here - taking a little idea of mine, and making it explosive. I applaud them.

That's enough.

One more song to go, next week.

Thanks for reading; thanks for listening.

Marty E.

"We're all messed up but nowhere to go..."

LAST WEEK's ENTRY: SONGS: #6 - Midnight Crisis - "Lost & Found"

THE WEEK BEFORE THAT: SONGS: #5 - Midnight Crisis - "Sister Vicodin"

THE WEEK BEFORE THAT: SONGS: #4 - Midnight Crisis - "(Get Home) Dangerous"

THE WEEK BEFORE THAT: SONGS: #3 - Midnight Crisis - "Kiss My Apocalipps"  

THE WEEK BEFORE THAT: SONGS: #2 - Midnight Crisis - "Midnight Somewhere"  

THE WEEK BEFORE THAT: SONGS: #1 - Midnight Crisis - "Take Control"

Stream/Download "Make It Alright" on BandCamp

Download "Make It Alright" on CDBaby (or buy Heart Beatings CD)

Download "Make It Alright" on Apple iTunes

Download "Make It Alright" on Amazon

"Make It Alright" on Spotify

7 Questions You Should Ask Yourself About Her (And She Should Ask Herself About You) Before You Decide To Shack Up

Disclaimer #1:  I'm no expert on relationships....but what I certainly am is experienced.  My experiences have taught me well, and are the source of any authority (and good humor) that I write with here.  Case in point, I've been there, and I know what I'm talking about.


Disclaimer #2: I know that the title looks like I'm speaking strictly to the guys about the girls (or the gentlemen about the ladies or the dicks about the chicks), but, as you can see from what are in the parentheses in the title, I'm really speaking to anyone considering moving in with someone.  It's just that I'm an American Rock N' Rolling Man, so....that's the point of view from which I speak, that's all.


You understand, I'm sure, if you're even reading this. 


OK, here's the list.


#1.  How does her Mom treat her Dad?


Think about it.  Where does everyone learn things from, first-hand, and who had the most influence on forming a person's values and shaping their perspective on relationships?  The answer, much more often than not, is their PARENTS.  Now, granted, you really can't generalize things too much, but....if someone comes from a good, well-balanced upbringing (and I'm not talking about superficial, surface shit, like "Class Structure" or "Economics", I'm talking about relationships, love, and interaction), chances are that person will be well-balanced and adjusted as an adult.


However, if one comes from a household, where, say, the mother was the type who walked all over the father, a girl is going to learn something from that, and take that as an example of how to be, even if it's subconscious (and again, you can switch the gender roles to fit your situation, as I said in my disclaimers).


Now granted, you'll have relationships with people whose parents are divorced or they have a deceased parent, but these also are things that affect a person deeply, and are things to think about (but aren't necessarily deal-breakers). 


And, if you haven't even MET your significant-other's parents...well, you should put off playing "house" until you have.  Which leads me to .....


#2. How Long Have You Been Seeing Each Other?


I know how a lot of people are....I was this way too.  You get all infatuated right away, and want to get serious immediately and all that shit, because you're just SO in love, right?  Sure!  I did it!  Hell, some years back, I met and moved in with a girl all in one weekend!!!  Was that a good idea?  HELL to the Fucking-A NO!!!! 


The thing you have to remember is that when you move in with someone, you're not only living with the woman you're infatuated with, as romantic as the notion is.  You're sharing a living space with a warts-and-all (hopefully, only in a matter of speaking, hahaha), belching, farting, bitching, sneezing, coughing, jabbering, snoring human being (just as SHE is.  Like I said, I'm being fair).  She might be a slob....or a neat freak!  Hell, you might be a midget porn addict who listens to Peaches & Herb!  The point is, you need to make sure you know this person well enough in all of these contexts and settings before you're going to take a big, serious step like this, and that comes from dating someone for quite awhile and getting to KNOW that person for REAL.


#3. Does She Have Violent/Abusive Tendencies?


That means just that.  Does she hit you?  Is she verbally abusive?  Does it drive you INSANE, and start turning you into someone you don't want to be?  Well, if this is going on NOW, Jack, don't live under the same roof with her, because it's more-than-likely going to get worse and worse...and it's hard to escape from your own home, more or less.  

The fact of that matter is, by moving in with someone, you are placing a lot of faith and trust in her to love, protect, and take care of you (both men and women need that in a relationship).  Tainting this with any sort of violence or verbal abuse is the kind of shit that starts leading you down a dark road of resentment, leading to certain destruction and maybe worse.  You don't want to go there, do you?!  Never mind that any form of abusive behavior never called-for and completely unnecessary; it is going to affect all facets of your life in ways that might not even occur to you.


So, in summation, if this is going on-FORGET ABOUT IT!


#4. Is There Mutual Trust Between You?


This has to be a given.  If you decide to go out with your buddies and get shit-faced until 5 am-is she going to freak out and call you every 5 minutes, wondering what you're doing and who you're with?  And how about you?  How do you act when SHE wants to do her version of the same?  Are you the one who's possessive?  Furthermore, if there is a lack of trust between you, what is the source of that?  Does one person try to control the other's behavior when they're not around, and place unreasonable demands?   It's a recipe for disaster, and often, a prophecy that's self-fulfilled.


Often, the one who refuses to trust is the one who's less trustworthy... but, again, it's difficult to generalize.  But what's not difficult is to foresee that this sort of thing will most-likely get worse with the onset of cabin fever.


PS-If you feel like you have to snoop through her cellphone or computer, or if she feels she has to do this to you, your relationship is already fucked.  I don't care if you've been married for 50 years; violating someone's personal privacy is INEXCUSABLE!!!


#5. Do You Fight A Lot Already?


IF YOU DO....again, it's going to get worse if you move in together, not better.  

I'm not talking about the meaningless, often humorous bickering that goes on between people in just about any couple.  I'm talking about a situation in which every night out for a few beers turns into War of the Roses.  It's not fun.  And trust me, the two of you getting into confrontations about who's going to take out the fucking garbage, wash the dishes, and make the goddamn bed is not going to rectify the situation.  TRUST me.


#6.  Is She TOO Dependent On You?


On the other hand, sometimes a person can be too docile & depressive, and make you feel like you're her everything, ALL the time (and I'll remind you, again, I'm not being gender specific, in case you missed my now MANY disclaimers, hahahaha).  Can she get by on her own, and go about her day without constant contact (and for that matter, can you)?  I mean, if she's so codependent that she has to write you  life-changing text messages like, "I WONDER what I should EAT"....well, you might have something to think about.

 A person who is too dependent on the other is ALSO placing unreasonable demands on the other person.  This is a REAL drag, and not sexy in the least (and those of you who have been in this situation know EXACTLY what I mean).  And the more you give into it, the more you're going to be EXPECTED to give into it.....and you aren't doing ANYONE a favor by doing that.  Moving in together, in this case, is going to be just another form of emotional entrapment for you.  Don't do it.


#7. What's Going On Financially?


Does one of you have more money than the other, and a higher standard of living?  That is fine with some people, but will that situation cause stress?  By that, I mean, will the person on the higher end of the financial spectrum feel like he/she's pulling all the weight?  Will that put him/her on a power trip?  Or, will the person on the lower end of the spectrum feel like a complete loser, due to lack of funds?  Will he/she wallow in the relative convenience of the set-up?  These are questions you must ask yourselves, even though it may be the furthest thing from you minds.  

Why?  Because, from both sides, this is the sort of thing that plants the seeds of resentment....and resentment starts small, but it grows and grows, like Cancer.  It will eventually be a passion-killer, and will take your relationship with it.  Read that again, because this is the maybe the most important paragraph I've written here.


So, with THAT all being said.....


I think that about covers it.  I'm sure there are many other issues I didn't cover, but that's a damn good start.  Everyone has their issues....hell, there are probably 1,000,000 times as many issues in this world as there are human beings!


It's a wonder how anyone gets laid!


Anyway, good luck to you, and thanks for reading!


Marty E.

A question of relationships, trust, and other random bullshit in the human condition

First off, what IS a "relationship", anyway?  


You hear it all the time...."I WANT a relationship."  "Are we IN a relationship?"  "I DON'T want a relationship....I HATE relationships!"  Etc.  That last one, you've probably heard me say a million times.


But, the fact of the matter is, if you hang out with someone more than once or twice, then there's something going on, ie, you're RELATING with each other.  The very NATURE of what, in fact, that relationship means might come into question, but....it's still a relationship.  The definition of the word "relationship", the way it's usually discussed, is widely taken out of context.  It's a little bit silly, of you ask me.  But, as much as I rag on relationships, the way most people define them....I think relationships, in terms of the way I look at them, are good.  Ok?


(Favorite David Lee Roth quote from the late 80's: "Old Van Halen makes you want to have a drink, dance, and fuck.  New Van Halen makes you want to have a milk shake, drive a Nissan, and have a RELATIONSHIP!"  Hahahahaha!!!)


That all being said, you also hear a lot of statements involving how important "trust" is in a relationship.  I think what most people mean when speaking in terms of "trust" is, exclusivity.  That's how most people roll, and that's fine....God bless, and good luck.  We all know how difficult that is in this town, but it can be done, if that's what you both want...with each other.


But, really....what is FAR more important to me than this "ownership" that people impose upon each other, is whether or not I can trust someone to be A GOOD FRIEND.  Can I trust someone with a secret, or to listen objectively to a problem I might have - even if they can't necessarily offer advice - but just to lend an ear or a shoulder?  Can I trust that person not to freak out with a vengeance over the slightest trouble, to pick their battles wisely, and to deal with problems rationally?  Can I trust that person to look for the best in me, and not always assume the worst, right off the bat? Can I trust someone to understand that my life is haphazard at best, and fucking insane, a lot of the time?  Can I trust someone to keep our "pillow talk" where it belongs, which is BETWEEN US? Can I trust someone to maintain some semblance of self-control, even when they're angry with me....so that they don't get unnecessarily cruel and hateful?  Can I go out for drinks with that person without it turning into some inane fight every time?  Can I trust a person to listen to me tell them about something really awesome that that happened to me, without them getting indignant or jealous?  

I hope that the answer to all these questions, from now on, is a resounding, "YES." 

I don't think that's asking too much....do you?

The Cure-"Trust"

You can & should never go back, but a song will sometimes take you there anyway, just for a moment....

No matter where you live, anywhere on this Earth, one's most immediate certainty is the passage of time. I know, it's not a profound notion in the least...yet it's something a lot of us don't take notice of....which perhaps is a sort of passive way of denying it.

But every once in awhile....the simplest, most random thing can just make your mind explode, and the force of which can act as a sort of virtual time machine. Maybe it's the smell of fresh muffins wafting out from the open door of a bakery on 1st Ave & 11th St....or the perfume of a random, beautiful stranger sitting across from you on the train. Maybe it's the soft sound sound of an owl "CooHoo"ing behind every building on your block when you wake up....or maybe it's just the way that random good Samaritan of the moment on Nowhere Street sympathetically looks you in the eye and asks if you're ok when you're sitting alone on a bench, feeling momentarily hopeless when you're just having a bad night. (Yeah, you're ok....now that someone asked....right? Hahahahaha!!! And Thank YOU!)

For me, what takes me back most often, unsurprisingly....is a song (and, truth me told, I've sold my soul for a song many times, hahaha...and resold!)....one that I once listened to over and over again....that I haven't heard in a long time. Sometimes it's not so meaningful....sometimes it's completely mundane....and sometimes it's just fucking hilarious.

But last night, it was a song that just hits me like a concrete block dropping 20 stories, crushing my admittedly thick skull. It's a song that immediately, without warning (or, perhaps, any indication to those around me) transported me back to a different time and place. It took me on a First Class trip back many years (and many, MANY beers), to a time when I was incredibly young, naive, stupid, ultra sensitive, directionless, irreverent, drunk, and painfully in love....and didn't care about anything else. Yeah, THAT song...a song (and it's not the only one) that defines that period of my life when everything revolved around a feeling in my heart and the look in her eyes...when the entire world could have boiled in oil and all of its inhabitants with it as long as her arms were around me. Yeah, no shit....it's a DAMN good song...and an awfully consuming feeling that it exemplifies for me.

But the thing about it is, when I think about it for a moment with some clarity and perspective....hearing a song like this also reminds me of some really important and poignant things. The first is that, nothing lasts forever....at least in terms of situations. I mean, sure, feelings can certainly last forever, no matter how far under the rug you try to sweep them....but life changes, one way or another....and people simply move on. And when that (usually inevitably) happens, it's usually a good thing for both parties involved. That said, I think that, at the end of the day, a big chunk of what a person's legacy in this world consists of is the memories that you leave with those you have been closest to. And hell, nobody's fucking perfect, but....if, when they tally them up, you left them with more joyful memories than painful ones....well, that reflects on your heart and your soul....I always hope I'm on the right side of the column.....

Even if you never see someone again that you've loved so intensely and insanely that it, at times, has made you sick....if, after the smoke has cleared, you've come out of that situation a better person in some way, than it was all worth it, wasn't it? And when something brings you back like this, you feel as if as if you couldn't possibly imagine your life without the experiences & adventures, both ecstatically blissful and excruciatingly painful, that you shared with this person. It was just something that was meant to be at that time. It isn't a feeling of looking back or wanting to go back, but more a matter of seeing it from a different angle...and it can be sad, even if you aren't a nostalgic type (and as much as I think about the past, nostalgic, I'm not). If you lament something that's gone, to the point where it brings tears to your eyes, and a storm to your heart.....than there must have been something pretty fucking good about it, right? One can only hope! Goddamnit...life is crazy....

But, you know...we roll with the punches....do our best....and when push comes to shove, with any luck, we learn, we move on, and hope to do better next time. Sure, life is never going to be the same...tomorrow is never going to be the same as yesterday....and thank GOD!

For me, though....sometimes it's the thoughts of many yesterdays ago....that reassure me that, despite all the bullshit, I still haven't turned into a jaded, cold, & heartless fuck yet, and I sure hope that I never do. And I hope the same for you. We never know what's going to happen next week, who will cross our paths, and what great things are waiting for us.

We can only hope the be prepared.

Thanks for reading!

Marty E.

PS-Thanks to Lenny Kaye for playing this song at Otto's last night! I just thought that was worth mentioning for some reason, hahahaha.....

How to meet girls the long, hard way, or what's this dirt on my eye? (Weird Tales From the City, Part 2)

This strange occurrence happened about 8 years ago....and many, MANY beers, hahahaha....it's 100% true, as far as I can recollect....some (not many) of you might remember this when it happened.

I'd been in NYC for less than a year....so, I almost had my "sea legs", ie, I had a band, my personal style had adapted to my surroundings, and had made my way around the block a few times. Things were pretty cool. But I didn't have it all figured out by any means (and I still don't, for that matter). But I did learn a valuable lesson...

I had been out on one of those legendary late nights that I talk about all the time....it was a Friday night, and I'd been to a friend's dinner party....let's just say I'd had MANY martinis of some kind. This had been on the Upper West Side....and I believe I had joined some other friends of mine for beers afterward, at the now-closed Bellevue Bar (which I'd since been banned from for practically nothing, but that's not nearly as good a story) and had more than a few beers. But at around 2 AM or so, my friends had left, and I was left drunk and alone. This wasn't altogether out of the ordinary (and still isn't), but....let's just say I was *very* intoxicated, and should have really just gone home at this point (I lived right down the street).

But NO, of course, I HAD to stay OUT, and have MORE FUN, right? So I went up the street to Rudy's to have a few more beers.

The events that followed were lost in a fog....

I woke the next morning, aching like a clubbed seal! Again, not too out of the ordinary. I got up, walked down the hallway to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and thought to myself, "What's with this mud on my eyebrow?!"

It wasn't MUD...it was black and blue....clearly, I'd been clocked! It wasn't TOO bad....but...I was concerned, to say the very least!

I also had a bunch of voicemails on my phone from worried friends back home whom I'd apparently drunk-dialed during the night....damn....

Amidst the haze in my brain, the last thing I remember was....(holy shit)....falling through the doorway, and a little blonde girl tumbling down with me.

I spent that entire day wondering what the fuck happened....so I went back to Rudy's to ask them what went down. All they could tell me was that I'd pissed someone off, and they punched me out the door.....and that was about it.

FAST FORWARD TO ABOUT 6 MONTHS LATER>>>>>>>>>

I was at LIT's opening party.....which had an HR Geiger exhibit in the back. It was GREAT fun for an early Saturday evening. I was to guest DJ at Georgie Seville and DJ Chrissy's Glam 2000 party at Nouvelle Justine (now closed) later that night....so, this was a nice pre-party for me.

So, I was in the gallery, checking out the art, with a glass of Merlot in one hand....and a glass of Merlot in the other....checking out the art that adorned the wall, cluelessly fascinated, as I like to be while admiring something intensely cool that I know nothing about. I was taking a sip from the glass in my left hand, when a little voice to my right said, "Well....HI! How are YOU?!"

I looked over, and there was a cute little blonde girl smiling at me. What luck! I answered, "Pretty DAMN good....how are YOU?!" Hahahahahaha....right?

She answered, "You don't REMEMBER me, DO you?"

I replied, "I'll be honest....I really don't....but please, refresh my memory...I'm ALL EARS!"

She said, "You got into a scuffle over me some months back....."

"NOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING WAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!"

So, she and her also-cute friend (whom I still talk to-to this day-she knows who she is) and I sat down and they told me what had happened.

Apparently, I was at the jukebox at Rudy's, gloriously drunk, and put a Doors song on...I think it might have been "Touch Me" ...and I sauntered up to this table where these two girls were sitting, and started serenading them along with the song, all Top Gun style...except I used my Budweiser bottle as a microphone, and....I sang a lot better (I hope)....I was paying particular attention to the blonde....

....what I wasn't paying attention to was the dudes they were sitting with, who alledgedly played in some Brooklyn Hardcore band whose name I won't mention here. I guess they weren't WITH these guys, per se....but these dudes had designs on them, and they were none too pleased to have this black-haired pretty boy (me, at least at the time, hahahaha) closing in on their action. I guess it was getting close to bartime, and this girl and I were going out for a smoke or something....and we were heading toward to the door. As I opened the door, a big mug of beer bounced off the wall to my right. I was in the middle of turning around, and exclaiming, "What the FUCK," when the punch landed, and the girl (who apparently was trying to stop this guy) and I tumbled out the door onto the sidewalk.

Then I did the first smart thing I'd done all night, and hauled ass down the street back to my apartment.

So that was that.

Oh, and after the party at Lit, I dated the little blonde girl for over a month.

She doesn't live in NYC anymore, but we write occasionally. She's a nice girl. Her friend (now my friend too, hahaha) I see around the city here and there....she's also a nice girl.

The moral of the story?

While this might have (eventually) been an effective means of making friends....it's always better not to black out alone.

Thanks for reading!

Your good friend,

Marty E.

The best way to not get jaded, bitter, and old is to learn how to get over it and move on....

I meet a lot of people in my travels. I cross many paths. A lot of water has passed underneath the bridge that my life is, and plenty of shit goes down. I know I'm not unique in that, especially in this town. Everyone I know is probably living some kind of perpetual mini series.

I'm more into comedy than drama....I don't mind WATCHING drama, but I'd rather live a comedy...which is not to say that I want life to be a joke or that I don't take it seriously....quite the contrary.

Nobody's perfect, but time and again, I see people who do nothing but complain, complain, complain.....and bellyache about this and that which happened in the past. They hold grudges, dwell on ancient history, and consequently hold bitterness in their hearts. And what good does THAT do? It ages a person, and makes them unattractive to others. People can see your true colors pretty quickly, I think....just ask them.

I learned very early in life that when life throws shit at you like some rhesus fucking monkey, or knocks you down like steamroller, the best thing to do is wipe yourself off, feel the pain for a *little* while, then face forward and do your best to learn a lesson, move the fuck on, and GET THE FUCK OVER IT. How did I learn this? Let's just say I lost a lot of significant family members before age 12, ok? But the rest of my family and I didn't waste our lives sitting around and moping and crying about it. We turned chicken shit into chicken salad and made the best of it! It's not being callous or cold (two things that I am definitely not), it's simply facing reality but not letting it kill who you are.

We all have our stories about why our lives are fucked up in one way or another....nobody wants to hear you complain. People want to be inspired and forget about the shitfalls of their own, even if for a few moments. To me, that's what Rock N' Roll is about in a lot of ways, and is one of the more poignant reasons why I do and believe in what I do.

And so far it's going pretty well, because I couldn't be bothered with any reasons why it WOULDN'T! I mean, the whole world is stacked against most everybody.....that's a given. Why dwell on the fucking negative? Forget about that shit....and I refuse to travel in negative company....can you dig it? Too many people justify their own failures and problems with all these reasons why they can't do something, how it's all someone fucking else's fault, and pretty much just bitch, bitch bitch their lives away. They take no responsibility for anything, even their own actions.

Not me!

That all being said, we all have problems and disagreements. That's just life. But coming to a resolution is awfully important. Some people are actually taken aback by how forgiving I can be.....and how quickly I'll apologize when it's proper for me to do so. I'm not saying I'm righteous or that I'm even close to always being right. What I am saying is that if there are problems, and there often are, the best thing to do is to atone in whatever way you can and move the fuck on. The longer you let shit fester, the more lines will appear on your face. People, at least the sharp ones, can smell bitterness from miles away, and most of them don't like it. You don't have to be friends with EVERYBODY....but not eveybody is ENEMIES with everyone you don't like, you know? And gratuitous shit-talking is only going to reflect badly on you. Again, I see it happening again and again.

You'd be amazed at how good it feels, if you have a chance, to let the shit that ails you go. It's like concrete blocks have been lifted off your shoulders and replaced by wings. Chances are that the shit that's keeping you down is doing so because you enable it to. That makes you your own worst enemy....and who has time for that shit? Life is, indeed, too fucking short - and remember, it's YOUR life! Take heed and take care.....and while everyone else is bellyaching, shit-talking, and pussyfooting around, you'll be laughing, kicking ass, and having fun. I know which sounds better to me! How about you?

Is everybody going batshit crazy, or what?

What a day. I think maybe this entry will wind up being the most faithful to this blog's title, hahahahaha....

Between having a strange, wonderful, and unexpectedly great couple couple of nights...that seemed to me to be written in the stars....and on the other side, all of the varieties pitfalls that (more than 5 of) my friends have been having in their interaction with the world....and certain people giving me less than merciful character assassinations - one after another - while I try to help sort everything out for everyone....this has been a strange fucking day.

Is it the Spring-denying NYC Weather? Are certain people not getting laid? Is there some kind of poison infiltrating the air? I can't figure it out.

What I can tell you is that, while I am by NO MEANS anyone's boyscout, I CAN say that I make every effort to be, generally, an honest, sensitive, and thoughtful dude. Do I fuck up? Sure! Does my behavior at times deserve to be filed under "Questionable"? Absolutely, I'm sure. But hurting anyone is, and never will be, on my agenda. I'm all about inspiration, fun, and getting the most out of life.

Now, that all being said, sometimes I think that people paint an image of you as a person, that isn't altogether accurate. Consequently, when they are disappointed that you don't live up to that image, or their definition of who you are, especially in relation to them, they get hostile. It's something I don't particularly understand, but when you haven't lied to such people, or misled them into believing that you are a certain way (if anything, you've told them the OPPOSITE) then the only people they are fooling are themselves. Consequently, they are, in effect, using you as a vehicle to hurt/sabotage themselves as well. And all you're doing is waking up and wondering what the fuck this person is so angry at you about.

I mean, just because I can't be what someone expects me to be all the time, for whatever reason, doesn't mean I don't care about that person. And I don't think I pressure anyone, ever, to be something they are not. So, why would anyone else want to do that to me? It's as silly as it is selfish. And what's funny is, when someone is acting up on you in a situation like this, they often use favors that you've done for them as ammo to use against you. It's like that old adage, "No good deed goes unpunished." Well....again, you're welcome.

The best part? The reason people have for ripping you a new one these situations is often the result of hearsay, rumor, shit talking, and the like. And jumping down someone's throat, assuming the worst about them, and believing every single word said out in "drunkland" is wrong....and most people know that....or at least most of my friends (which is a pretty fucking big list, I think, and I love each and every one of you) know that, which is WHY they're my friends.

And if you expect someone to treat you with enough respect not to jump to conclusions (which, as humans, we all do from time to time), maybe you should do the same for them, right? It's not an unreasonable assumption. (There's also the issue of, whose BUSINESS is it WHAT you do?).

If someone automatically assumes the worst about you whenever there's some kind of a discrepancy, then perhaps that person was never your friend in the first place.

Which brings me to a final set of thoughts....perhaps it's shit like this that's sort of life's way of "weeding out the weaklings" from your life. And if it happens that way, you can rest assured that the choices you made were the best ones for you, don't you think?

You're probably wondering what the fuck I'm talking about....but I'm not telling....

Tomorrow is another day....let's make it a brighter, warmer one, ok?

Take care,

Marty E.