All of you who know me know that I know my way around the big city, & that I've had my share of late, late nights...but that I generally am able to keep my shit together. (I'm knocking on wood as I write that, hahahaha).
This was not always the case, and I'm going to tell you a funny story to illustrate that.
It was approximately a year before I moved into town. I had never, ever been to New York City in my life, and knew nothing about it, aside from what I read about 10 times in PLEASE KILL ME. I had flown here with my good friend Dan (my oldest friend from back home, for lack of a better term). We crashed at his sister, Julie's apartment on the Upper West Side. (Julie would later become my sort-of "Rock n' Roll big sister" when I was a new kid in town, for which I am eternally grateful). We had a big dinner and a few beers the first night we were here....but we couldn't wait to get our asses out to the East Village/Lower East Side to....immerse ourselves in the perceived coolness that was there.
Yeah, right.
So, we got on the Subway Train and went downtown, not really knowing what the hell we were doing or where the hell we were going, but knowing that we wanted to hit Coney Island High and the Continental, etc. I'm sure that we looked just as clueless as we were at the time. I think we went to the Continental first, and had a couple of Heinekens and shots of Jagermeister (my combo of choice at the time. Yuck!), and probably very obviously ogled at the girls there, etc, whom I'm certain took no notice of us. I hope not, anyway, hahahahaha!!!
Anyway, we headed around the corner to Coney Island High, and the dude at the door (who was that?) said that there were psychedelic bands playing upstairs, or some shit. That was good enough for us, so we headed on up, ordered ourselves another round, and checked out the band, whoever it was.
Soon, we started getting a little bit drunk, when some attractive black-haired girl started talking to me. I should have known from the start that it was too good to be true, and that I was being played, but I was much younger and more naive, let alone a stranger in a strange land. It probably didn't help that I mentioned that I didn't live in NYC....I think I recall her response being something along the lines of, "No shit!"
Pretty soon, this chick started dancing with her arms around me, and, of course, I thought that I had hit the jackpot! I was probably thinking, "Party time in NEW YORK!! I think I LIKE this place!!!"
She was dancing behind me, while, I suppose I was waving my hands in the air like I just don't care, or something to that effect. And I didn't....until I felt her hands around my waist...unbuckling my BELT!!! To make matters worse, this chick started pulling my PANTS down!
Luckily enough, even in my advanced state of refreshment, my reflexes were sharp enough that I was able to fight her off without being disrobed and/or overexposed, the operative term being, "Listen, you crazy bitch, leave me the fuck ALONE!"
And of course she looked at me with her faced crumpled with disdain, and yelled, "FINE, BE THAT WAY!" before she and her friend walked out the door. It was then that I noticed Dan laughing his ass off. I re-buckled by belt, and probably suggested that he shut the fuck up, and come with me to the bar to get another beer!
Before long, we walked over to Bleecker Street Bar for some reason, and continued with the merriment, and basically had a good time...albeit less eventful.
But the story doesn't end there!
We decided it was about time to head back to Julie's place....at GOD know's what time, but I suspect it was close to NYC's bar time of 4am. We grabbed the Subway to head back to the Upper West Side. I guess somewhere along the way, the booze and energy of the Big City got the best of me....because the next thing I knew, I was being nudged awake by this little Hispanic Good Samaritan Dude who was sitting next to me (thank you, Sir, whomever and wherever you may be). I looked around, and Dan wasn't THERE! Dude said that he had left!
In other words, I had passed out during the train ride, and Dan walked off the train, apparently assuming that I was walking behind him. He didn't notice that I was sitting there catching up on some much-need rest until he was off the train and the doors had closed!
I was scared shitless, because I I was drunk, alone, and didn't know my way around to save my life. So, I did the only thing I could think of TO do, and I got off the train, grabbed a payphone, and called Julie (whose #, luckily, was in my pocket. I had no cellphone yet).
"I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM OR WHAT THE FUCK TO DO!!!" I exclaimed, as I heard Dan laughing his ass off (AGAIN) in the background.
She told me, between guffaws, to just jump in a cab and have it drop me off on the corner by her building.
"Oh....well.....ok, then!" Simple enough, right?
When I walked through her door, we decided that, in light of the hilarity that we had experienced that night, just one more round of Heinekens was in order, despite my exhausted state.
CHEERS!!!!
It seems so long ago.....yet it doesn't....you know what I mean?
Showing posts with label drinking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drinking. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Feeling the Rain of or Taking a Shine to my personal favorite Summertime songs
It's been a long time since I've written on this blog of mine, and suddenly, it's Summertime! Things are good, there's a lot going on, and....well, I guess I'm going to talk about the music going through my head while it happens.....how the hell do you like that?
For me, Summer isn't really that different than any other season, save for the fact that I should probably get a goddamn air conditioner, and it's going to be too damn hot for most of my scarves, leather jackets, dark clothes, and boots (but, fuck it, I'm wearing the damn boots, and you'll NEVER see me wearing shorts unless you see me at the beach.....and most of you who are reading this will not.....ok?)
That being said, Summer is a great time, not only for fun in the sun and relaxing on the beach (which I do occasionally)....but for cool, killer nights on the town.....drinking beers on rooftops....taking the long way home on foot....Hefeweizen beers on the sidewalk (with lemons, not oranges, ok?)...gin & tonics....Central Park....barbecues....all that shit....it's fun.....
Anyway, these are my favorite songs that sort of.....convey the spirit of Summer, as I feel it, in my heart and mind. It isn't all fun and games, but....it's real, and.....it's all GOOD! Don't worry about the order....that could change in a matter of minutes.......
#1. Urge Overkill-"Sister Havana"
GOD I still LOVE Urge Overkill. These guys were the first band of the so-called "Alternative Era" to....sort of exemplify and attitude of that, to me, said, (to their contamporaries), "Look, guys....I understand that you're all PC and intelligent and all of that cool shit, but.....we can still PARTY OUR ASSES OFF, can't we?!!" I thought so!
To me, UO were sort of....like Kiss/Cheap Trick meets Neil Diamond (and of course, their biggest hit was a cover of a Neil Diamond song, go figure). It was definitely incongruous to a lot of the dismal, depressing output of a lot of 90's bands (not that I'm a real big fan of overly happy music, but you know what I mean). They wore their UO-embossed medallions and their egos on their sleeves, and I thought it was great. In a time when such things weren't fashionable, they made no bones about the fact that they wanted to be stars....and in my mind, they were. I just wish the rest of the country had sort of caught on.....but my tastes and the tastes of the American Public have not always seen eye-to-eye.
No matter, this song was probably their most well-crafted and artfully-produced track. It is packed with hooks (even in the fucking BRIDGE), has a huge chorus....I can't believe they didn't pack arenas with this! It epitomized the UO M.O. to a T (how do you like that?) and....it's fucking FUN! The video mirrors that perfectly, don't you think?
There you go.....it makes sense now, doesn't it?
#2. The Barracudas-"Summer Fun"
I love surf music. It's fun and laid back, but the rhythm of it is, at times, fucking relentless! Which is the reason why I got into the Barracudas: their drummer, Nicky Turner, went on to play in one of my favorite post-punk/goth bands, the Lords of the New Church....and whose drumming I've always loved (more on that in a future entry on here!)
I don't need to do a lot of explaining here....just watch the damn video!
#3. Van Halen-"Panama"
There is, perhaps, no American Rock N' Roll band that, for my ears, represents an American Summer fucking Vacation than Van Halen with David Lee Roth. Hell, I could have put this song at #1 on my chart here....and made the whole chart consist solely of Van Halen songs....but that would have been too damn predictable....and besides that....I'm doing this as I go along.....Summertime is about spontaneity, alright?
I remember being a little kid watching this video, with all the cars and motorcycles and women and beers and on-the-road hijinks, and I remember thinking to myself that THIS was the way to live. Hell, I still DO think that, for that matter. This video sort of.....represents my every hope and dream as much as any. I haven't obtained them all yet, but....getting there is indeed half of the fun....so....lets get to getting there, shall we? Plus, who doesn't love women and cars? It's as American as apple pie....and, yup, there's a joke in there somewhere!!!
#4. The Thrills-"Deckchairs and Cigarettes"
This song is my favorite...."Fuck and forget about everything in the world and relax and if the world ends now, it's as good a time as any," kind of song. This video clip is the best I could find.....but you should buy the album. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if some of their songs would make the Beach Boys blush!
"....just don't change a thing...."
Beautiful!
#5. AC/DC-"Let There Be Rock"
Every time I hear this song, I think back to when I still lived in Minneapolis.....and I'd wake up hungover and alone on a Sunday afternoon in my little studio apartment downtown, next to I-94.....the fan blowing in my face....and I'd say to myself, "Screw THIS....I gotta get OUT of here!" And I'd go out to my pick-up truck and start driving....with both windows down, and my shades pulled down tightly, to hide from the Sun that I was trying to catch up with....and more often than not, I'd put in AC/DC's If You Want Blood....You've Got It (Live) into the stereo.....and I'd drive all over the Twin Cities metro area, with no destination in mind....and I wouldn't come back until well after dark.
That is, until I didn't come back at all, but that's another story!
How BADASS is that opening riff?
That's what I thought too.
#6. The Cure-"Icing Sugar"
This song is a different animal altogether. This is the sort of song I like to put on when I'm getting ready to go out, right before midnight.....and it's been so HOT, that it's practically raining inside your apartment, but.....there's a breeze easing in through the window. It's telling you that something crazy and awesome is in the air and that it is about to become one hell of a night.....and to prepare......and take heed....don't wait up....
#7. The Beach Boys-"Surfer Girl"
....because I'd be a total asshole if I didn't have a fucking Beach Boys song on here, ok?!
And this song is awesome....
#8. The Cult-"Love Removal Machine"
This is another "beer-drinking in the bed of the pick-up truck in the woods" kinds of songs. Rick Rubin, as a producer, really helped these guys hit the nail on the head with this entire album. I mean, he basically took a post-punk/goth gang of brits and turned them into a down and dirty classic-Americana Rock N' Roll band (despite having them rip off fellow Brits the Rolling Stones and AC/DC, from down under, but....you get my point....hell, those bands took American Rock N' Roll and made it their own & threw it back at us, no?)
Anyway, the Cult delivered with power and grace on here, and I'll never stop loving this song....but this song never sounds better than it does when the heat is taking you over. You know exactly what I mean.
#9. Neil Young-"Thrasher"
This song holds a special place in my heart, for different reasons, most likely, than any other songs I'm mentioning here.
Back when I was in the Midwest, and knew I had to get out in order to....well, become what I am, and what I have yet to become....I did a lot of soul-searching and explored a lot of possibilities. For a minute, I thought I might go down to Phoenix and play with an awesome, tragic, glam/pop/rock band down there. It didn't work out. Then, there was an opportunity for me to play with a gritty, no-frills Punk N' Roll band in LA and hit the road with them immediately....and I was close to doing so. I was going to pack up my truck and make the drive out, living, what I refer to as the "Neil Young Dream"....which is sort of what his lyric (from this song), "I was just getting up, hit the road before it's light, tryin' to catch an hour on the sun". How great is that? Well, I sort of chickened out on that though, and....well, it was for the best (long story, but it wouldn't have been a good move for me at the time).
But I knew at that time that I had to act, to DO something. All of my friends were starting to get real jobs and real lives; they started getting married and having families. And God bless them, for that's what people DO, right? Hell, I'm sure glad MY parents did.
But, I had to do something else, and finally I did, and 10 years later, here I am.
But this song, to me, is sort of about....discovering that you're something different, than, perhaps, the world expects you to be. It's about realizing what your aspirations are, and the hard choices you have to make and the risks you have to take to get on the right track to fulfilling them. And the metaphors with which Neil illustrates this are really beautiful and picturesque....almost pastoral, in a matter of speaking. He spoke of his peers (supposedly, he was referring to Crosby, Stills, and Nash) "Hiding behind hay bales", "Lost in rock formations", "Or became park bench mutations"....while he "burned my credit card for feul" "Through the timeless gorge of changes, where sleeplessness awaits". Daunting stuff to be sure....and I sort of feel like, in my own way, I experienced that as well, in my own way. And the funny thing is, I was listening to this album and this song in particular when all that was going on. It's kind of crazy to listen to it today, and sort of feel the history of my relationship with a song like this. But I guess that could be said for a lot of them couldn't it?
Do you know what I mean?
#10. The Rolling Stones-"Little T&A"
I could have probably put just about any Stones album on here.
But....well, you know when your walking down the street, and you see a total babe with a no-nonsense walk, long legs, and a face full of attitude that has no time for you....and a killer body wrapped in just enough cotton to carry it?
Well, when I see that, this song starts reverberating through my mind....and what better song could be, really?
#11. Bananarama-"Cruel Summer"
I don't care what anyone says, I love this song.
It may be cheesy 80's pop, but....it carries the mood of the "Dog Days of Summer" and communicates it so well...yet, it still manages to make it kind of fun! It's undeniable, and very infectious.
Admit, it....you like it too!
The video has great images of a New York City I never got to experience.
#12. Billy Idol-"Hot in the City"
This song makes me smile every single time I hear it. I guess it's the lyric, "When a long-legged lovely walks by, you can see the look in her eye, then you know that it's HOT IN THE CITY TONIGHT!"
I know, deep stuff, right?
It doesn't hurt that this song is so TOTALLY about New York, either.
It's my favorite song to put on right after midnight when I dj at one of my Rock N' Roll haunts in NYC. It makes everyone dance and sing along, and hell, sometimes I do too.
Even though this song is 25-years-old, there's always a timeless sense of "Right Fucking Now" when that happens, and...to me, that's a big part of what Rock N' Roll is all about.
How about you?
#13. Janes Addiction-"Summertime Rolls"
This is another "forget it all" song....and I don't know how anyone could help but love it.
I mean, despite the sordid nature of Janes Addictions image, the lyrics of this song are a innocent as any I've ever heard. "Children...screaming TAG", "She says stop! I'm a girl", "Her nose is painted pepper Sunlight", her song says, "If you want a friend, feed any animal". I mean, you'd have to have icy slush going through your veins for those images not to evoke something within you, as far as I'm concerned.
There was no band like Janes Addiction.
#14. Guns N' Roses-"Reckless Life"
Just because.
#15. Ramones-"Rockaway Beach"
Because there's no other REAL New York City beach song.
No, Lou Reed's "Coney Island Baby" doesn't count! (I love that song, but it's not about the beach, ok?)
Thanks for reading!
Marty E.
For me, Summer isn't really that different than any other season, save for the fact that I should probably get a goddamn air conditioner, and it's going to be too damn hot for most of my scarves, leather jackets, dark clothes, and boots (but, fuck it, I'm wearing the damn boots, and you'll NEVER see me wearing shorts unless you see me at the beach.....and most of you who are reading this will not.....ok?)
That being said, Summer is a great time, not only for fun in the sun and relaxing on the beach (which I do occasionally)....but for cool, killer nights on the town.....drinking beers on rooftops....taking the long way home on foot....Hefeweizen beers on the sidewalk (with lemons, not oranges, ok?)...gin & tonics....Central Park....barbecues....all that shit....it's fun.....
Anyway, these are my favorite songs that sort of.....convey the spirit of Summer, as I feel it, in my heart and mind. It isn't all fun and games, but....it's real, and.....it's all GOOD! Don't worry about the order....that could change in a matter of minutes.......
#1. Urge Overkill-"Sister Havana"
GOD I still LOVE Urge Overkill. These guys were the first band of the so-called "Alternative Era" to....sort of exemplify and attitude of that, to me, said, (to their contamporaries), "Look, guys....I understand that you're all PC and intelligent and all of that cool shit, but.....we can still PARTY OUR ASSES OFF, can't we?!!" I thought so!
To me, UO were sort of....like Kiss/Cheap Trick meets Neil Diamond (and of course, their biggest hit was a cover of a Neil Diamond song, go figure). It was definitely incongruous to a lot of the dismal, depressing output of a lot of 90's bands (not that I'm a real big fan of overly happy music, but you know what I mean). They wore their UO-embossed medallions and their egos on their sleeves, and I thought it was great. In a time when such things weren't fashionable, they made no bones about the fact that they wanted to be stars....and in my mind, they were. I just wish the rest of the country had sort of caught on.....but my tastes and the tastes of the American Public have not always seen eye-to-eye.
No matter, this song was probably their most well-crafted and artfully-produced track. It is packed with hooks (even in the fucking BRIDGE), has a huge chorus....I can't believe they didn't pack arenas with this! It epitomized the UO M.O. to a T (how do you like that?) and....it's fucking FUN! The video mirrors that perfectly, don't you think?
There you go.....it makes sense now, doesn't it?
#2. The Barracudas-"Summer Fun"
I love surf music. It's fun and laid back, but the rhythm of it is, at times, fucking relentless! Which is the reason why I got into the Barracudas: their drummer, Nicky Turner, went on to play in one of my favorite post-punk/goth bands, the Lords of the New Church....and whose drumming I've always loved (more on that in a future entry on here!)
I don't need to do a lot of explaining here....just watch the damn video!
#3. Van Halen-"Panama"
There is, perhaps, no American Rock N' Roll band that, for my ears, represents an American Summer fucking Vacation than Van Halen with David Lee Roth. Hell, I could have put this song at #1 on my chart here....and made the whole chart consist solely of Van Halen songs....but that would have been too damn predictable....and besides that....I'm doing this as I go along.....Summertime is about spontaneity, alright?
I remember being a little kid watching this video, with all the cars and motorcycles and women and beers and on-the-road hijinks, and I remember thinking to myself that THIS was the way to live. Hell, I still DO think that, for that matter. This video sort of.....represents my every hope and dream as much as any. I haven't obtained them all yet, but....getting there is indeed half of the fun....so....lets get to getting there, shall we? Plus, who doesn't love women and cars? It's as American as apple pie....and, yup, there's a joke in there somewhere!!!
#4. The Thrills-"Deckchairs and Cigarettes"
This song is my favorite...."Fuck and forget about everything in the world and relax and if the world ends now, it's as good a time as any," kind of song. This video clip is the best I could find.....but you should buy the album. I wouldn't be a bit surprised if some of their songs would make the Beach Boys blush!
"....just don't change a thing...."
Beautiful!
#5. AC/DC-"Let There Be Rock"
Every time I hear this song, I think back to when I still lived in Minneapolis.....and I'd wake up hungover and alone on a Sunday afternoon in my little studio apartment downtown, next to I-94.....the fan blowing in my face....and I'd say to myself, "Screw THIS....I gotta get OUT of here!" And I'd go out to my pick-up truck and start driving....with both windows down, and my shades pulled down tightly, to hide from the Sun that I was trying to catch up with....and more often than not, I'd put in AC/DC's If You Want Blood....You've Got It (Live) into the stereo.....and I'd drive all over the Twin Cities metro area, with no destination in mind....and I wouldn't come back until well after dark.
That is, until I didn't come back at all, but that's another story!
How BADASS is that opening riff?
That's what I thought too.
#6. The Cure-"Icing Sugar"
This song is a different animal altogether. This is the sort of song I like to put on when I'm getting ready to go out, right before midnight.....and it's been so HOT, that it's practically raining inside your apartment, but.....there's a breeze easing in through the window. It's telling you that something crazy and awesome is in the air and that it is about to become one hell of a night.....and to prepare......and take heed....don't wait up....
#7. The Beach Boys-"Surfer Girl"
....because I'd be a total asshole if I didn't have a fucking Beach Boys song on here, ok?!
And this song is awesome....
#8. The Cult-"Love Removal Machine"
This is another "beer-drinking in the bed of the pick-up truck in the woods" kinds of songs. Rick Rubin, as a producer, really helped these guys hit the nail on the head with this entire album. I mean, he basically took a post-punk/goth gang of brits and turned them into a down and dirty classic-Americana Rock N' Roll band (despite having them rip off fellow Brits the Rolling Stones and AC/DC, from down under, but....you get my point....hell, those bands took American Rock N' Roll and made it their own & threw it back at us, no?)
Anyway, the Cult delivered with power and grace on here, and I'll never stop loving this song....but this song never sounds better than it does when the heat is taking you over. You know exactly what I mean.
#9. Neil Young-"Thrasher"
This song holds a special place in my heart, for different reasons, most likely, than any other songs I'm mentioning here.
Back when I was in the Midwest, and knew I had to get out in order to....well, become what I am, and what I have yet to become....I did a lot of soul-searching and explored a lot of possibilities. For a minute, I thought I might go down to Phoenix and play with an awesome, tragic, glam/pop/rock band down there. It didn't work out. Then, there was an opportunity for me to play with a gritty, no-frills Punk N' Roll band in LA and hit the road with them immediately....and I was close to doing so. I was going to pack up my truck and make the drive out, living, what I refer to as the "Neil Young Dream"....which is sort of what his lyric (from this song), "I was just getting up, hit the road before it's light, tryin' to catch an hour on the sun". How great is that? Well, I sort of chickened out on that though, and....well, it was for the best (long story, but it wouldn't have been a good move for me at the time).
But I knew at that time that I had to act, to DO something. All of my friends were starting to get real jobs and real lives; they started getting married and having families. And God bless them, for that's what people DO, right? Hell, I'm sure glad MY parents did.
But, I had to do something else, and finally I did, and 10 years later, here I am.
But this song, to me, is sort of about....discovering that you're something different, than, perhaps, the world expects you to be. It's about realizing what your aspirations are, and the hard choices you have to make and the risks you have to take to get on the right track to fulfilling them. And the metaphors with which Neil illustrates this are really beautiful and picturesque....almost pastoral, in a matter of speaking. He spoke of his peers (supposedly, he was referring to Crosby, Stills, and Nash) "Hiding behind hay bales", "Lost in rock formations", "Or became park bench mutations"....while he "burned my credit card for feul" "Through the timeless gorge of changes, where sleeplessness awaits". Daunting stuff to be sure....and I sort of feel like, in my own way, I experienced that as well, in my own way. And the funny thing is, I was listening to this album and this song in particular when all that was going on. It's kind of crazy to listen to it today, and sort of feel the history of my relationship with a song like this. But I guess that could be said for a lot of them couldn't it?
Do you know what I mean?
#10. The Rolling Stones-"Little T&A"
I could have probably put just about any Stones album on here.
But....well, you know when your walking down the street, and you see a total babe with a no-nonsense walk, long legs, and a face full of attitude that has no time for you....and a killer body wrapped in just enough cotton to carry it?
Well, when I see that, this song starts reverberating through my mind....and what better song could be, really?
#11. Bananarama-"Cruel Summer"
I don't care what anyone says, I love this song.
It may be cheesy 80's pop, but....it carries the mood of the "Dog Days of Summer" and communicates it so well...yet, it still manages to make it kind of fun! It's undeniable, and very infectious.
Admit, it....you like it too!
The video has great images of a New York City I never got to experience.
#12. Billy Idol-"Hot in the City"
This song makes me smile every single time I hear it. I guess it's the lyric, "When a long-legged lovely walks by, you can see the look in her eye, then you know that it's HOT IN THE CITY TONIGHT!"
I know, deep stuff, right?
It doesn't hurt that this song is so TOTALLY about New York, either.
It's my favorite song to put on right after midnight when I dj at one of my Rock N' Roll haunts in NYC. It makes everyone dance and sing along, and hell, sometimes I do too.
Even though this song is 25-years-old, there's always a timeless sense of "Right Fucking Now" when that happens, and...to me, that's a big part of what Rock N' Roll is all about.
How about you?
#13. Janes Addiction-"Summertime Rolls"
This is another "forget it all" song....and I don't know how anyone could help but love it.
I mean, despite the sordid nature of Janes Addictions image, the lyrics of this song are a innocent as any I've ever heard. "Children...screaming TAG", "She says stop! I'm a girl", "Her nose is painted pepper Sunlight", her song says, "If you want a friend, feed any animal". I mean, you'd have to have icy slush going through your veins for those images not to evoke something within you, as far as I'm concerned.
There was no band like Janes Addiction.
#14. Guns N' Roses-"Reckless Life"
Just because.
#15. Ramones-"Rockaway Beach"
Because there's no other REAL New York City beach song.
No, Lou Reed's "Coney Island Baby" doesn't count! (I love that song, but it's not about the beach, ok?)
Thanks for reading!
Marty E.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Humourously crazy people that have crossed my path, or whacked out ghosts of blogs past, or just a few of life's special moments
Hey....while I've been out yackety-yacking on the town, I've been compelled for one reason of another to bring these stories up....so I thought I'd share them, the way I wrote them on my old Myspace (remember that phenomenon?) blog....enjoy.....
====================================================================
====================================================================
====================================================================
====================================================================
You get my point.....and here's to many more "special moments"!
Thanks,
Marty E.
====================================================================
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
 | Current mood:  amused Category: Life Just a few minutes ago, I was walking through Madison Square Park....not the least bit bothered by the rain....when I heard this voice bellowing something indecipherable on the other side of the park.... "Now just what the HELL is THIS, now?!", I thought, as I guzzled my Dr. Pepper like it was a bottle of Jack. As I got closer to the other side of the park, I see what appears to be some homeless dude on a bench. It became apparent that, in his mind at least, he was putting on a little concert. I say this because he was talking at this point, as if to an audience (of which, incidentally, there were no members), between songs. And what I heard him say still has me laughing my ass off. He said, "Thank you VERY much ladies and gentleman....and my next number is a special song originally sung by Laura Branigan....." OK? And I thought to myself, "No....NO....Dude...PLEASE tell me you're NOT GOING TO!!!" But yes he did....he proceeded to do a gloriously off-key version Laura Branigan's song "GLORIA" at the top of his lungs....I still can't stop laughing......but maybe you had to be there.... I thought of uttering some cliche', like "Don't quit your day job"....until it occurred to me that this is probably it.....hahahahaha..... Marty E. |
Thursday, August 28, 2008
| Current mood:  confident Category: Life ...ok....so, I stepped out for some junk food (sometimes a dude wants some Chicken fucking McNuggets, ok?).... ...and this dude...who looked like a cross between Albert Einstein, Col. Sanders, and (what I imagine, the looks of) the King of France character in Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn starts yelling,"EXCUSE ME....SIR...YOUNG MAN....YOU....EXCUSE ME...THE YOUNG MAN WITH THE HAT!!!!" So, after ignoring him for a few seconds, I turned around and said, "WHAT do you WANT, (Man!)?!" And he says, "Do you mind if I take your picture?" "Nah, I don't mind," I replied. And he said, "OK, let me see your profile?" Slightly annoyed, but figuring 'What the Hell', I turned to my left. He took a closer look at me.... ....and then he said, "Well....no," and he walked the other way. I hollered after him, "Look, Dude....you're the one who asked, ahahahahahahaha!!!" I love this town. |
Saturday, August 02, 2008
| Current mood:  confused Category: Life So....after "another one of those nights", I was dropping off a couple of friends of mine on my way home in a cab. I got out of the cab to let them out on the curb side. When I did, two or three guys on the sidewalk held up cameras and started taking pictures of me, and looking as jovial as all hell! Um....what the fuck? This sort of thing has happened to a couple of girls that I've known, but....never to me! I can't help but wonder....just who the hell did these crankshifters think I was? |
You get my point.....and here's to many more "special moments"!
Thanks,
Marty E.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
How to meet girls the long, hard way, or what's this dirt on my eye? (Weird Tales From the City, Part 2)
This strange occurrence happened about 8 years ago....and many, MANY beers, hahahaha....it's 100% true, as far as I can recollect....some (not many) of you might remember this when it happened.
I'd been in NYC for less than a year....so, I almost had my "sea legs", ie, I had a band, my personal style had adapted to my surroundings, and had made my way around the block a few times. Things were pretty cool. But I didn't have it all figured out by any means (and I still don't, for that matter). But I did learn a valuable lesson...
I had been out on one of those legendary late nights that I talk about all the time....it was a Friday night, and I'd been to a friend's dinner party....let's just say I'd had MANY martinis of some kind. This had been on the Upper West Side....and I believe I had joined some other friends of mine for beers afterward, at the now-closed Bellevue Bar (which I'd since been banned from for practically nothing, but that's not nearly as good a story) and had more than a few beers. But at around 2 AM or so, my friends had left, and I was left drunk and alone. This wasn't altogether out of the ordinary (and still isn't), but....let's just say I was *very* intoxicated, and should have really just gone home at this point (I lived right down the street).
But NO, of course, I HAD to stay OUT, and have MORE FUN, right? So I went up the street to Rudy's to have a few more beers.
The events that followed were lost in a fog....
I woke the next morning, aching like a clubbed seal! Again, not too out of the ordinary. I got up, walked down the hallway to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and thought to myself, "What's with this mud on my eyebrow?!"
It wasn't MUD...it was black and blue....clearly, I'd been clocked! It wasn't TOO bad....but...I was concerned, to say the very least!
I also had a bunch of voicemails on my phone from worried friends back home whom I'd apparently drunk-dialed during the night....damn....
Amidst the haze in my brain, the last thing I remember was....(holy shit)....falling through the doorway, and a little blonde girl tumbling down with me.
I spent that entire day wondering what the fuck happened....so I went back to Rudy's to ask them what went down. All they could tell me was that I'd pissed someone off, and they punched me out the door.....and that was about it.
FAST FORWARD TO ABOUT 6 MONTHS LATER>>>>>>>>>
I was at LIT's opening party.....which had an HR Geiger exhibit in the back. It was GREAT fun for an early Saturday evening. I was to guest DJ at Georgie Seville and DJ Chrissy's Glam 2000 party at Nouvelle Justine (now closed) later that night....so, this was a nice pre-party for me.
So, I was in the gallery, checking out the art, with a glass of Merlot in one hand....and a glass of Merlot in the other....checking out the art that adorned the wall, cluelessly fascinated, as I like to be while admiring something intensely cool that I know nothing about. I was taking a sip from the glass in my left hand, when a little voice to my right said, "Well....HI! How are YOU?!"
I looked over, and there was a cute little blonde girl smiling at me. What luck! I answered, "Pretty DAMN good....how are YOU?!" Hahahahahaha....right?
She answered, "You don't REMEMBER me, DO you?"
I replied, "I'll be honest....I really don't....but please, refresh my memory...I'm ALL EARS!"
She said, "You got into a scuffle over me some months back....."
"NOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING WAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!"
So, she and her also-cute friend (whom I still talk to-to this day-she knows who she is) and I sat down and they told me what had happened.
Apparently, I was at the jukebox at Rudy's, gloriously drunk, and put a Doors song on...I think it might have been "Touch Me" ...and I sauntered up to this table where these two girls were sitting, and started serenading them along with the song, all Top Gun style...except I used my Budweiser bottle as a microphone, and....I sang a lot better (I hope)....I was paying particular attention to the blonde....
....what I wasn't paying attention to was the dudes they were sitting with, who alledgedly played in some Brooklyn Hardcore band whose name I won't mention here. I guess they weren't WITH these guys, per se....but these dudes had designs on them, and they were none too pleased to have this black-haired pretty boy (me, at least at the time, hahahaha) closing in on their action. I guess it was getting close to bartime, and this girl and I were going out for a smoke or something....and we were heading toward to the door. As I opened the door, a big mug of beer bounced off the wall to my right. I was in the middle of turning around, and exclaiming, "What the FUCK," when the punch landed, and the girl (who apparently was trying to stop this guy) and I tumbled out the door onto the sidewalk.
Then I did the first smart thing I'd done all night, and hauled ass down the street back to my apartment.
So that was that.
Oh, and after the party at Lit, I dated the little blonde girl for over a month.
She doesn't live in NYC anymore, but we write occasionally. She's a nice girl. Her friend (now my friend too, hahaha) I see around the city here and there....she's also a nice girl.
The moral of the story?
While this might have (eventually) been an effective means of making friends....it's always better not to black out alone.
Thanks for reading!
Your good friend,
Marty E.
I'd been in NYC for less than a year....so, I almost had my "sea legs", ie, I had a band, my personal style had adapted to my surroundings, and had made my way around the block a few times. Things were pretty cool. But I didn't have it all figured out by any means (and I still don't, for that matter). But I did learn a valuable lesson...
I had been out on one of those legendary late nights that I talk about all the time....it was a Friday night, and I'd been to a friend's dinner party....let's just say I'd had MANY martinis of some kind. This had been on the Upper West Side....and I believe I had joined some other friends of mine for beers afterward, at the now-closed Bellevue Bar (which I'd since been banned from for practically nothing, but that's not nearly as good a story) and had more than a few beers. But at around 2 AM or so, my friends had left, and I was left drunk and alone. This wasn't altogether out of the ordinary (and still isn't), but....let's just say I was *very* intoxicated, and should have really just gone home at this point (I lived right down the street).
But NO, of course, I HAD to stay OUT, and have MORE FUN, right? So I went up the street to Rudy's to have a few more beers.
The events that followed were lost in a fog....
I woke the next morning, aching like a clubbed seal! Again, not too out of the ordinary. I got up, walked down the hallway to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and thought to myself, "What's with this mud on my eyebrow?!"
It wasn't MUD...it was black and blue....clearly, I'd been clocked! It wasn't TOO bad....but...I was concerned, to say the very least!
I also had a bunch of voicemails on my phone from worried friends back home whom I'd apparently drunk-dialed during the night....damn....
Amidst the haze in my brain, the last thing I remember was....(holy shit)....falling through the doorway, and a little blonde girl tumbling down with me.
I spent that entire day wondering what the fuck happened....so I went back to Rudy's to ask them what went down. All they could tell me was that I'd pissed someone off, and they punched me out the door.....and that was about it.
FAST FORWARD TO ABOUT 6 MONTHS LATER>>>>>>>>>
I was at LIT's opening party.....which had an HR Geiger exhibit in the back. It was GREAT fun for an early Saturday evening. I was to guest DJ at Georgie Seville and DJ Chrissy's Glam 2000 party at Nouvelle Justine (now closed) later that night....so, this was a nice pre-party for me.
So, I was in the gallery, checking out the art, with a glass of Merlot in one hand....and a glass of Merlot in the other....checking out the art that adorned the wall, cluelessly fascinated, as I like to be while admiring something intensely cool that I know nothing about. I was taking a sip from the glass in my left hand, when a little voice to my right said, "Well....HI! How are YOU?!"
I looked over, and there was a cute little blonde girl smiling at me. What luck! I answered, "Pretty DAMN good....how are YOU?!" Hahahahahaha....right?
She answered, "You don't REMEMBER me, DO you?"
I replied, "I'll be honest....I really don't....but please, refresh my memory...I'm ALL EARS!"
She said, "You got into a scuffle over me some months back....."
"NOOOOOOOOOO FUCKING WAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!"
So, she and her also-cute friend (whom I still talk to-to this day-she knows who she is) and I sat down and they told me what had happened.
Apparently, I was at the jukebox at Rudy's, gloriously drunk, and put a Doors song on...I think it might have been "Touch Me" ...and I sauntered up to this table where these two girls were sitting, and started serenading them along with the song, all Top Gun style...except I used my Budweiser bottle as a microphone, and....I sang a lot better (I hope)....I was paying particular attention to the blonde....
....what I wasn't paying attention to was the dudes they were sitting with, who alledgedly played in some Brooklyn Hardcore band whose name I won't mention here. I guess they weren't WITH these guys, per se....but these dudes had designs on them, and they were none too pleased to have this black-haired pretty boy (me, at least at the time, hahahaha) closing in on their action. I guess it was getting close to bartime, and this girl and I were going out for a smoke or something....and we were heading toward to the door. As I opened the door, a big mug of beer bounced off the wall to my right. I was in the middle of turning around, and exclaiming, "What the FUCK," when the punch landed, and the girl (who apparently was trying to stop this guy) and I tumbled out the door onto the sidewalk.
Then I did the first smart thing I'd done all night, and hauled ass down the street back to my apartment.
So that was that.
Oh, and after the party at Lit, I dated the little blonde girl for over a month.
She doesn't live in NYC anymore, but we write occasionally. She's a nice girl. Her friend (now my friend too, hahaha) I see around the city here and there....she's also a nice girl.
The moral of the story?
While this might have (eventually) been an effective means of making friends....it's always better not to black out alone.
Thanks for reading!
Your good friend,
Marty E.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
