Thursday, January 7, 2010

Last Year is just SO Last Year.....but THIS year is another story.....

At the top of every year, I think that a lot of people sort of take an internal mental inventory of what's going on in his or her own world and how to make it better....I guess there's a psychology of renewal and a fresh start or something....it's unavoidable, I think, but....I'm sure there are many people who disagree....

There's a lot of....sort of crazy earthquakes going on in my world right now....GOOD ones....I'm shaking in my steel-toed boots right now....and what a difference a year makes. A lot of people I know thought that '09 sucked. I went through periods of time last year when I guess I felt that way....but it's all a matter of perspective. If '09 sucked, that's only in comparison to '08 in my case, because '08 KICKED ASS! That was the best year of my life....and last year....was merely second best. That being said, I'm starting to wonder what the hell I spent some pockets of last year complaining about, by God!

But you know....sometimes, as always, for me anyway.....I don't realize what the hell was going on when it happened, but only when I look back on it....which seems to be a recurring thing that I write about....

But I live a life that hasn't been heavy on stability, security, and I suppose, safety. It's been a seat-of-the-pants existence....(no regrets)...But, in general...I'm not really a betting man, and the reason is, sometimes I really feel like I'm betting MY LIFE....on this crazy dream I have to make something of myself, and to do it my own way. That's what Rock N' Roll is all about, as far as I'm concerned. And there's no time like the present that I ever felt like it is working more than now. Without getting into details....I can say that it's a bit surreal....just like any feeling that you've never felt before is going to be. And sometimes it's scary.....like Hardcore Superstar sings, "It's so frightening when dreams do come true." That's the truth, but....it's unbelievably cool too....and something that no one should ever take for granted....or not appreciate....for every moment in which it's happening.....because you never know how long it's going to last or how far it's going to go....you just have to do your best to keep making it happen, and hold on for the ride....and enjoy it for all it's worth....and have the time of your life and hope that it lasts, maybe, for the rest of your life.....ahhahaha, and hopefully, that's a LONG time!

I think that along with the sort of renewal that the the new year brings, there's a sense that one should eliminate what ails you.....at least in terms of what you can control. For me, I'm trying to take all the resentments, the pointless dramas, and the insecurities.....and toss them in the trash where they belong. There comes a time when....hopefully, we realize just how fucking great we have it....and that a lot of the things we perceive as problems and impediments on our happiness are just nothing but festering shit living inside of our heads. It just gets in the way in every way. Fuck That.

I mean, really, the world, year in and year out, over the past decade, seems to have proven itself to be....well, more fucked up than I would have ever imagined it being. We get inundated so much with all the dangers & problems in the world that....I don't know about you, but I'm sort of feeling immune to it all.....even though I'm not....but there's really not a goddamn thing I can do about it.....and.....

.....I'm getting the opportunity to do some really cool shit this year that I've never done before....or at least it's looking that way.....and all I can do is concentrate on that....and I'm really excited to see how it all turns out....because I'm optimistic that it's going to turn out really fucking well! And I DO have some control over that so.....

....I'm prepared to bust my ass to make that happen.

Stay tuned, and keep the beer cold, my good friends.....one way or another, we're going to need it!

Your good friend,

Marty E.
1/7/10