Sunday, August 22, 2010

The Best Little Kiss-Off in Texas...Or Was That a Blow-Off?

This past March, my band The Dirty Pearls played at South By Southwest in Austin, TX.  It was a week full of adventures, fun, and  Rock N' Roll. I had a great time playing Rock N' Roll and partying with my homeboys.  That's what we do!

But the funniest thing I remember about it happened the night we got there.

I was walking down the massively crowded street on my own after checking out some band somewhere...I was wearing my new (at the time) Chinese Police Hat, and was feeling pretty damn good about it.  While I was carefully considering just where the source of my next beer might be, a gaggle of DIPFUCKS walked by me. One of them had the panache to yell to me, "HEY, nice HAT ya fucking FAGGOT!!!"

I was stunned, not only that this cock mongrel had the insolence to imply that I was a homosexual, but by the fact that he was clearly an ignoramus for not recognizing a fucking cool hat when he saw one!  And, let me tell you, Gentle Reader, there was going to be RETRIBUTION!!!!

I turned around, and I BELLOWED after the whole lot of them, these immortal words that will make them think twice before ever again disparaging another Rock N' Roller (at a MUSIC FESTIVAL, no less). 

I screamed, "HEY!!!  If I'm such a FAGGOT, why don't you come on OVER here, and SUCK MY FUCKIN' DICK?!!!!!"

The blowhard in question then turned around, and said, "WHAT?!  WHAT WAS THAT?!!!"

I then pointed to my pelvic region with both hands, and answered, "I SAID, 'SUCK MY DICK!!!!' AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!"

Of course, the boys in shorts didn't attempt to intervene any further, and I walked away, very satisfied with myself!  And, I hit the drums even harder than I normally would at the gigs we played over the next couple of days.  Here is some footage:

Thanks for reading!

Marty E.

1 comment:

  1. what assholes! I think I might have flipped my lid.